I never knew that I was a sadist or a Dom. In fact I have always thought of myself as a gentle, giving soul… Baby Doll likes to tease me that I can’t even watch horror flicks because they make me uncomfortable. Yet, once the cage door holding back The Monster within was opened… the power, the control, the pain… it has become a central part of my life. What began as spanking sessions, morphed into full body sessions, back to spanking with wicked paddles (Mr. Grey and Oakey)…and now into full evenings of pain, torture, sensory deprivation, humiliation, and of course pleasure intertwined into an exquisite dance of the senses. I have two favorites (for the time being).
1. Baby Doll sits in Seiza (kneeling, feet crossed, butt on feet), eyes closed, with Leather Man (our belt) in her mouth, waiting for me…and waiting…and waiting… until I am ready. I take Leather Man and lash her back while she sucks my cock. She is not allowed to vary no matter how light or heavy my strokes become. Baby Doll is VERY skilled in the arts of oral pleasure! She loves to gag on my cock, and if she is a very good girl she is allowed to swallow me. This is how I like to start a session night!
2. Baby Doll can’t cum after a session, so we always have sex before. It is very important to me that she have this release, as she is HIGHLY sexual. I always hold back so that I can finish later… It was a fantasy of mine to break Baby Doll, so that she is sobbing and done, but then enter her from behind and fuck her while she is in subspace. We discussed it and she was intrigued. The first time we tried this, she was bound and gagged, I beat her until I determined she had enough. Did I mention that Baby Doll has relinquished ALL control? She has given me her safe word…I now hold her, all of her… she’s not done until I am. It is a bond I couldn’t imagine with anyone else! So, once I am done (usually she has broken a couple times as I fuck her in between, it edges her off the break and back into reality) and she is wracked with pain, I fuck her either in her pussy or in her ass. The pain of my pelvis slamming into her ass usually breaks her again…but mingled with the pleasure… drives her into a deep subspace, and throws me into euphoria!
The resolution to these nights is her release from her bondage and usually 15-30 minutes of aftercare. Just holding her as the sobs wrack her body as she releases all the bullshit that life has to offer. The pain, pleasure, submission all cleanse my Baby Doll and readies her for another week! My greatest pleasure is in that I am the cause of the physical pain but also the one to offer succor. It is my voice that guides my Baby Doll back to reality from the depths of subspace. It is my hand that wields the implements that cause the pain. It is my tongue, my fingers, my cock that giver her the pleasure she earns for!
I don’t know if Baby Doll has helped create The Monster in me, or just let him out to play. And in truth…it doesn’t matter. Just as I broke Baby Doll for the first time and so I am responsible for her, she released The Monster from his cage, and feeds him and cares for him. She is mine…I am hers…
we. just. are.
The Monster and Baby Doll