A Big Taboo

Something I never thought I would do…

When all first got together, we had discussions of limits, turn-offs, and turn-ons.  The hard lines were: no blood, pee, or shit. Those are still fairly firm… From the very beginning I think Baby Doll was testing my limits with one of those things. (She’s going to kill me for this…) Baby Doll always pees in the shower. She asked me if I cared, and I said it was just pee and it goes right down the drain, so whatever. Probably in November or December, the subject came up a little more explicitly…I’m not sure if asked about something more Baby Doll wanted to do or try, or if there was anything she missed from her past. But it came out that she had received Golden Showers (GS) before and quite enjoyed it. I was not disgusted by any means, just more intrigued. At the time, we had just read a blog by a dom and his sub (co-written) about their journey into GS. This is a dom for whom I have a lot of respect, at least based on his writings.  So, I thought, what the hell.

Always, and only in the shower, the first time was just on her legs, just to see if I could even bring my self to do it. Then I asked how she like it, and Baby Doll told me, she like to be on her knees and receive it on her chest. I thought to myself that I could totally do that. If Baby Doll found a great connection in it, maybe I would as well.  We have committed to each other to try new things, to explore, to push boundaries…so here was an opportunity.

Now, it is almost a daily occurrence, in fact I miss it on the days, kids, or necessity dictate otherwise. Baby Doll asked me to write about why I like it so much. I think there are a couple things. This is something that I have only shared with Baby Doll, and is therefore very special to me. It is part humiliation in that she willingly and hungrily kneels down to receive my gift, but it is different than any other bodily fluid, it is a waste product, not like cum. Taboo definitely plays a part in that this is not something spoken of in proper society without a snicker and a disgusted look on your face. I’ve always been intrigued by counterculture. But, most importantly, it is the bond that we forge each time. Just as with the beatings that I dole out, Baby Doll must trust me and I her. That neither of us judges, that we are safe with each other, that we will still love and be loved at the end.  I love the power, control, and connection…but as with most things in our D/s relationship, there is a healthy dose of pleasing Baby Doll, taking care of Baby Doll, and giving Baby Doll what she wants that in turn pleases me, her Master. This is truly a reciprocal relationship, even if much of it goes unspoken… we both just want to make the other happy.

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