(Originally written on my first blog, slightly edited)
I wasn’t sure this was something I wanted to experience with Master. I knew he was unsure about it, he had said early on it was a limit for him. But it got into my head. I thought about it on occassion and every time I did, I started to want it a little more. He asked me if there was something I wanted and I squirmed, being a little squeamish about admitting that I wanted to try it with Him. Master guessed it anyway, He didn’t say no so it felt like He took it under consideration to decide how He ultimately felt.
Soon after, He bathed me in His golden shower while we were in the bath together. Just trying it out, He didn’t ask me to kneel. This isn’t for everyone and I honestly don’t understand the full extent of why I enjoy it, other than it brings out the deepest submission in me. It’s an intimate act, both giving and receiving. It takes a deep level of comfort on both ends. While some may think it’s “gross”, I don’t and I’m not literally turned on by the act itself but more the intimacy between us.
When Master asks me kneel down before Him, I feel special because I know He pushed a boundary for me. I like the anticipation as I kneel in front of him, that we are sharing something neither of us do with anyone else. And even if we have the BDSM and sessions together and with no one else, this is a deeper, more intimate part of that. As He unloads on me, I feel a deep connection with him. I’ve always had a sort of fascination with watching men pee anyway, not entirely sure. Along the same lines as I love watching them cum too. Something about the hole in the mushroom head. It’s sexy to me. We’ve been sharing these experiences with me kneeling in front of Him and keeping it from the neck down. Knowing Master, I’m sure he’ll push this limit of mine. I know I’ll take it in more places and I really don’t mind.
Just like many of our rituals that reminds me who is Master and how he owns me, afterwards, I’m grateful to Him for taking me as His subbie. I love everything He does but the little things that shows me He owns me makes me the happiest.