So the turmoil of the quad in our new house continues…. Kitty and I had a knockdown drag out fight that resulted in me saying some horrible things and calling her names that I never thought would cross my lips. She said things that cut me to the core. I knew that that wasn’t me and I had to end this before we destroyed eachother. We didn’t really speak for two days other than to talk about kids.
On the third day I texted her to ask if this cordial relationship was working for her. She said it was the best she could muster. She eventually said we should end the bullshit and just be with the people that make us happy. I asked if that meant paperwork (divorce). She said yes.
It took a few days for Kitty to convince Red that if he wanted her he would have to grant Baby Doll a divorce. All he kept saying was that Baby Doll was going to take the kids! When in fact Red is the only one of the four of us who told Baby Doll that if she left him, she left the family and HE would take the kids.
None of that can happen! The cruel reality is that if we can’t all keep our shit together and even just one if us actually goes to court we could all lose our kids. The courts dont understand poly… It could be VERY bad!
So… We are now two couples that have swapped, forever, and will shortly do divorce paperwork and shortly thereafter marriage paperwork!
Baby Doll and I are already planning our wedding! We are going to get tattoos for wedding bands! I’ve always thought that was a beautiful thing!
I’m hoping that we can all be friends…only time will tell. I’ve told Kitty that I want to be in her life. That I would be her best man or give her away when her and Red marry. That when her and Red have kids that I want to be at the hospital, if she wants me there.
There is still even a chance, albeit very slim, but a chance that we could all live in the same house and raise our kids together. Just in swapped monogamous relationships. Ok… Well Baby Doll and I will probably open up our marriage to play…no more poly! Baby Doll and I have already established that if we play it will only ever be together!
You may ask: how do we all feel?
Well… GODDAMN FUCKING FREE!!! Holy fucking shit do I feel good! Look, the paperwork isn’t done, and we have a shit fucking ton of life and complications to work through. BUT, I am now FREE TO LOVE BABY DOLL!!! I don’t have to look over my shoulder or questions if I’m being equal. I don’t have to worry about obligations to Kitty… There are none! I think Kitty is more or less in the same place. Baby Doll feels the same… I will let her comment more on how she feels as she chooses.
Then there is Red…. Well, Red doesn’t want a divorce. He wants to continue keeping Baby Doll as his servant. He is having a hard time admitting defeat. He can’t recognize his part in any of this. He still maintains that he treats and loves them equal, when everyone, including Kitty see that he doesn’t. He can’t admit that their marriage is toxic… Until… He pulled Baby Doll aside and said that he was crushed, but that he had to accept it. So still the perpetual victim… But seemingly starting to let go. Both Red and Kitty had been clinging to us for dear life through text or bad behavior or words, but ZERO action. As soon the paperwork was decided on they both dropped us like hot potatoes! Sad you might ask… Maybe just a little since they cling so hard. But really… Relief… And maybe a little sad at just how relieved we are. Because it shows us just how unhappy we had been for so long!
FUCKING FREEDOM! I love you Baby Doll! For the first time in ages I’m actually lookin forward to the rest of my life!