Poly Dangers

On the surface, we all wanted poly to expand our relationships, have some fun, find people to play and love with. One of the premises of poly is that it is unreasonable to expect one person to fulfill all of your needs.  And that it is a Hollywood and Puritanical idea that one should sacrifice those needs because the ‘one’ you love can not fulfill them. Enter poly.  If we can get past the jealousies than we can have multiple partners who fulfill us in ‘different’ but not qualitatively ‘better’ ways. In theory that is a beautiful and fulfilling proposition. But to make this work, the marriages must STRONG…and I mean fucking iron clad, we communicate about everything, we have examined our issues, we are in an amazing place.  Poly doesn’t necessarily CAUSE problems, but it sure as shit will shine a light on every last little crevice of an issue that has been, is now, or might possibly be!

Enter our problems…we all thought our marriages had been through rough times, but that we had dealt with the issues and came out the other side!  We were strong. We communicated. We loved each other. Well…fucking horse shit! Problems were swept under the rug for over a decade for both couples. Communication was cursory at best. None of us were happy in our marriages… and some of us for quite a long time, even if we never really admitted it to ourselves.

Enter problem number 2… What happens when your secondary is no longer just fulfilling you in ‘different’ ways, but it is also ‘better’? Oh shit! That’s what happens.  What happens when your secondary turns out to be a person that actually does fulfill everything you’ve ever wanted in life.  The things you’ve been begging from your spouse for years with no movement.  I’ll tell you what happens, everyone agrees to relationship anarchy (dropping the hierarchies)… and then before you know it your secondary has become your primary. You find that the only thing you are getting from your spouse is grief, and the time has come to do the paperwork…

Now, before any of you think I am sad, or that Baby Doll and I aren’t happy, or that I am slamming poly… let me say this is not the case.  I am so happy with Baby Doll…she truly is the woman with whom I am meant to be!  And for those people that have the ‘constitution’ for poly, I think it is a beautiful and wonderful thing. But, please heed the advice that you will read everywhere…. COMMUNICATION!!! If you don’t want the whole thing to go to shit, you must communicate!

I don’t know if we had all communicated better, if our pending divorces and nuptials still wouldn’t have happened.  What I do know, is that I am done with poly.  I lost a wife and found my Baby Doll… I’m not willing to risk that again.  Now…playing is another story, but certainly not for a good bit.

I have found the woman that is the partner, the wife, the subbie, the person that fits with my craziness, my controlling personality, my libido, my soul…

Use Me Master…

Every time my Baby Doll utters these words to me I feel The Monster stir within. Because of the craziness of moving into the poly house, the fighting, the pending divorces, illness, etc. our sessions have fallen to the wayside. Baby Doll is afraid we are losing this part of our relationship. It may be…diminished…for now…but it is NOT gone.  Her words always stir The Monster, which makes me want to pinch, bite, beat, bruise, choke, smack, control, spank, paddle… he’s not gone, he never will be, he is my dark passenger (thanks Dexter)… In these times of session droughts, when my Baby Doll rolls over at 6am, before the kids are up, feeling my morning Glory, asks if I want a quickie.  I’ve been sick and having issues breathing, so I say “no”, but I can still put my cock in you, just to be close. Of course, she knows that it won’t stay that way… I suppose I do to.  Baby Doll is not an easy cummer, she takes some effort, but its always worth it. I am the type of man and Master, that I don’t like to leave her hanging…unless it is part of a larger scheme or game. So her words, as I am stroking in and out of her: “Use me to cum Master.” are a true gift. The permission I need to let the world around me go, to not think, to just be. Use me, use me, use me, use me… the words resound in my ears, in my heart, in my soul… they stir The Monster. The Monster cares not for Baby Doll’s limits, for her pleasure, he cares only about pain and how to dispense it. He is the controller, the hair puller, the part of me that wants to make her ass bleed and then fuck her while she sobs from the pain. He is my true sadist… and Baby Doll loves him! She craves HIS attention. I’ve always hidden him away as a shameful part of my being… but his release has shown me not to be ashamed.  Three words have set me free… safe…sane…consensual! With those three little words, my shame is transformed into a dark beauty. My dark passenger can be allowed out to play!

Use me Master… use me to cum… For my sadist heart, there are no more beautiful words than those first thing in the morning.

Missing You

I’m missing my Master tonight…
We didn’t get to talk to much  today because he had a presentation due and it’s Wednesday. Wednesdays are his late nights, he doesn’t get home until 9 or so because it’s a late class. And on top of all that, he came home not feeling well and crawled into bed. He’s laying on me right now, asleep and I’m loving  feeling his arm around my leg and curled up against me. But I do miss interacting with him very much!
I hope you feel better Master!!
I love you! ❤❤❤

Good Morning

I woke this morning to one nipple in Master’s mouth and the other being massaged between his fingers. Evidently he asked me to turn onto my back so he could have ample access…I’m a side or stomach sleeper so I get all tucked away when I curl up. As I was coming out my sleep fog, my body was responding nicely to his touches. Squirming and moaning, I guided his hand from my breast to between my legs. He fingered me until I couldn’t take it anymore. Sucking on my nipples or even playing with them is one of my big buttons. I love it. Do it long enough or just right and I’ll melt and do anything for you. I wanted Master so bad…I asked him to fuck me. He certainly didn’t need to be asked again. He got on top slowly and I clung onto him. I told Master I wanted him to use me to cum. I love when he uses me for his pleasure in the mornings, leaving me hungry for him all day. Thinking about being with Master that night…He put me in the side position we’ve been using a lot lately (which is amazing!) and fucked my pussy until he exploded. I loved knowing I made him feel good, that we started off the day in such a yummy way.