I can’t say I’m freaking out really…but the reality of everything certainly became clear when our landlord ok’d Master and me moving out. For me, sometimes things feel like a dream until they actually happen.
Yes, the papers are in Red’s hands and I’m hoping to get those finalized this weekend. I’m tired of dragging it out. Let’s get them signed and filed with the courts. That’s only half of the changes about to happen. We just moved in that house in February. And now two of us are moving out. I didn’t move in there expecting for Master A and I to turn around and move out three months later. But that is happening. We are on the hunt for a new place for us, JUST us (and of course the kids but I’ll get to that in a minute…). As Master has already said, we’ve thrown our finances together. He’s just about done separating completely from Kitty. I have to discuss with Red the rest of what we need to do. But we are TOGETHER.
I started the process of telling close friends. It was difficult to tell my BFF, I know he was sad and worries about the girls, but once I got that one out of the way, telling another friend of mine was a little easier. She was shocked. I could never tell her about the entire poly story, too conservative and would never understand. It was just easier to tell her about separating, divorcing and now seeing a new man. She seemed to accept it pretty well. One thing she said, I only tell people what’s going on with me when I’m ready to tell, very right about that. Big news, I have to let it sit for a little while before I’m ready to come out and talk about it. And this one is big. It’s hard to tell people exactly why Red and I didn’t work. The troubles we’ve actually had aren’t really anyone’s business. So I use the old adage, I was too young, we grew apart, blah blah blah. Seems to go over well enough.
Moving out means we will be starting the new custody schedule. My twinnies are young enough, they just go along with the rest of the kiddos and don’t need any explanation. The oldest will need to know what’s going on, in terms she can understand. Once she knows, the next two will need the same explanation. I’m nervous about sitting down with her, more nervous about discussing it with Red first. Nothing is easy with him. It will be hard looking her in the eyes and telling her mommy & daddy won’t be living together anymore. Just thinking about that makes my eyes tear up. I want our babies to be ok. All five of them. The best thing we can do is try our hardest to keep our sh*t together and raise them to the best of our ability. My mom, the deal-finder, has already found us a couple of toddler beds for the twins for our new place. Now we will need bunks for the older girls and a cute boy bed for the only boy! He’s such a cutie, love him to pieces.
The thoughts and talks about what stays and what goes has already begun. Three months ago we loaded up the cupboards with all our linens, glasses, silverware, dishes, etc….and now we will divide them all up. It’s insane. Toys and furniture and kids clothes….all that has to be discussed. I actually don’t know how much Red & Kitty will care. I don’t care about any of the stuff I had with Red….except for my family things which my mother has already starting harping at me about. But the rest is just stuff.
Master is right, even without sessions, our D/s relationship is thriving. I’ve earned some good punishments this week for good reason. It will teach me and help me remember to keep up good communication with Him. I’m excited to be taking it to the next level. Yes, we already live it all the time but to be able to do as we please, or shall I say do as He pleases, when we are alone will definitely make things even more interesting. I can imagine some very fun BDSM nights in our future.
I think maybe I should want to say I’m sad that I’m closing the Red chapter of my life and moving on. But I can’t. I’m so happy and excited to be moving on with the man that I’ve always wanted that I feel nothing but excitement. I’m hoping the best for Red, that him and Kitty are happy and do well together but I’m beyond ready to start LIVING my life…and to be happy…