Master and I are moved in. We are once again the King and queen of our own domain. No sharing space, responsibilities, etc etc. No more hiding in our room to avoid other adults in the house we don’t want to interact with. It only took three and a half months for the poly house to completely fall apart. I’ve told myself to look at it as an experience. And what an experience it was!
The move was exhausting. Master and I pretty much did it all on our own, with some help from my parents and the use of my father’s truck. But the nice thing was not having to worry about the place we moved out of. The cleaning and inspection, no need because Red & Kitty stayed in the house. Red was actually really decent with me, being playful and friendly. That’s the man that I’ve missed. I haven’t seen him in so long, it’s nice that he came out again. Hopefully he can keep that up.
Our new place is almost all set up. Except for a mishap with the bunk beds for the girls, the remainder of our clothes, a tv and one more piece of kids furniture, we’re done. The kids have already stayed one night and they will be staying again tonight. Next week the new official kid schedule will start. I do miss them. It’s hard when they aren’t there. I miss their smiles, hugs and kisses. But we will all adjust. They seem to be doing fine so far. The littlest is struggling a little but I think he will be fine too, especially once the schedule is fully in place.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I took the day off work, I try to never work on my birthday. I don’t think anyone should. It’s their day. We will have the kids for the day and we are planning on taking them on a really awesome picnic. Then we will return them to Red & Kitty’s house Friday afternoon and head to dinner with my parents that evening. Afterwards…to a local swinger’s house. I don’t know if you can call it a club exactly. Maybe. Not sure if either of us are really hoping or planning on playing but we decided to go for the fun of it. Explore together, see how the evening progresses. I know there’s a “couples only” area upstairs. We did discuss a little about limits and Master mentioned soft swap only, if things go that way. I don’t disagree, I think that would be a good introduction for us and to see how well we handle it. I’m nervous and excited all at once.
One of my friends that I work with, she mentioned that I have some making up to do for the last couple of months that I’ve withdrawn from everyone in the midst of trying to deal with the divorces and forging a new relationship with Master. I’ve been thinking about it off and on since then and I’ve come to think maybe she could have asked me if I was ok, if I needed something, if something was wrong. What do I have to make up for? Being consumed by this monster? Especially those that know me well enough, no one asked me if I was ok. On one hand I appreciate being left alone to deal with everything and not have to explain but I don’t appreicate being told I have some making up to do when I was the one hurting.
So much of this is now past and really all I have left to do is finish the paperwork and get it filed in the courts and wait for it to be finalized.
The next step will be planning our November wedding…