Domestic Discipline

We have always incorporated DD into our BDSM life. Baby Doll has always enjoyed, needed, thrived, with the structure of knowing there are consequences for actions or forgetting an assignment. She has always wanted to be my subbie and be a good subbie, but sometimes she needs “guidance”. She needs “encouragement” to behave properly. It’s partly how she knows I love her, that I care enough to provide the structure, the rules, and the followup punishment or praise. That I will monitor her behavior and dole out punishment as I see fit for not living the way we have agreed we should live. The rules are always mutually agreed upon, but once agreed to, I enforce them. We have protocols in place for exceptions without punishment, and protocols to discuss changing rules, but unless Baby Doll uses them, she will get punishment. This is always a paddling, the number of strikes I determine and I base that on the severity of the infraction, or it’s reoccurrence.
Since we moved into the poly house this was almost completely dropped as I was never comfortable with our sessions. We used to start our sessions with Baby Doll kneeling in seiza recounting her infractions, then bending over and counting down her punishment as I delivered them. It was and is her job to track her punishment through the week until we have a session. I think subconsciously, since I wasn’t comfortable delivering the punishment I never even handed them out. Baby Doll was on pretty good behavior, but she also knew she could get away with things…and did. I also let behaviors slide that I would have wanted to correct, but was gunshy.
Well…not anymore. We are in our own place now, I have no more issues of feeling like I’m on display. I am surprised how few sessions and DD we have done, I think it is just taking a little time to get back into the swing of it all.
We had an incident the other night where Baby Doll was not behaving as I would have liked (at home, no kids), and I made her do assignments as a punishment, as well as a way to get her out of her funk…it failed…it was NOT a good night and even carried over to the next morning. We have since talked more, and she has suggested that DD would be much more effective with her.
Last night…we had another little spat (still always about the others, it’s difficult sorting that mess out!) I wasn’t in the mood for romance or sex after, but I needed some sort of intimacy and interaction. I told her to get out Oakey. She was going to take her punishment that I had rolled over from the previous week, plus the 2 more she had earned…that’s 14 from an 18 inch oak paddle with holes drilled through it that spell Baby Doll. See pic below… And yes…those are old blood smears on it.
Needless to say, after our extended hiatus, that’s all Baby Doll could take. We’ve decided that we are going to go though our protocol book and reestablish all the protocols we want to live with. I will be strict, and Baby Doll will get her punishment nightly after she recounts what she did to earn them.
I have been a little sad and unsatisfied with how or D/s life had progressed. Don’t get me wrong, Baby Doll always does her best to serve me how I like and keep the house, but we NEED to figure out how to navigate the difficulties of separating from the others, money issues, etc, while maintaining our relationship. I am hopeful with the strengthening of our D/s and enhanced DD that we will find our way again!


4 thoughts on “Domestic Discipline

  1. I’m sure it will take time to reestablish the Ds. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t push it. Be patient with yourselves and with each other. Pushing may end in results that you are not wanting. It’s a beautiful life but it takes time. Speaking from experience. And you’ll be surprised how amazing it can and will be. And the protocols will need to change as you both grow. That’s the part I find amazing and I. Love.

    Hugs to you both.

    Liked by 1 person

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