Master and I have been discussing our D/s protocols and what would be best in different situations. I did mention to Him that when I fall into a mood, assignments won’t always work to pull me out of it. Especially when the mood is related to something between us. I cannot find the peace and joy in serving Him as when I do normally. It’s not the acts themselves but more so going thru the motions rather than actually enjoying them. The best possible way to readjust my attitude and outlook is to beat it out of me…
I find myself being much different with Master than I was with Red. I used to fight mean, scream and yell, use names or anything that I knew would piss him off because I was mad. I thought it was best just to get it all out. With Master, I have protocols to follow. No fighting dirty, no name-calling, yelling maybe but certainly not at the decibels I used to attain. The consequence of this is sometimes I can’t get out all the inner frustrations. And I can physically feel it moving thru my body. My nerves are on fire. The heat radiates from the pit of my stomach and out. Sometimes it makes me cry. They aren’t tears from being sad but out of frustration and hurt. There’s so much emotion running thru me, it has to find an escape. Tying me up and beating me until I break is a great release.
We got into an argument Friday night. He was angry and frustrated with me. I was hurt and frustrated myself. Even afterwards, as He calmed down and attempted to help straighten me up, all the pent up hurt and frustration stayed inside me. Master instructed me to get Oakey out. He pulled the straps out from under the bed, told me to remove my panties and bend over the bed. He tied up my hands and told me I had to count down my punishment. I had 14 coming to me. After only a couple, I was losing it. I was crying, saying “no” and “I can’t” over and over. Oakey hurt so bad. By the end, I was a complete sobbing mess as Master took me into His arms and held me as the tears and sub space subsided. It was difficult to take but somehow I had made it thru the harshest punishment I have received yet. I felt so cleansed and at peace, even with a throbbing, sore ass.
Sunday night, we were preparing for another session. No punishment, just a session. I had gotten out Oakey and Leatherman as Master got the straps out again and asked me to take off all my clothes. He kept on his undershorts and a tshirt as He sat back on the bed. We usually have a moment or two before beginning where we hug, kiss and/or cuddle a bit. It’s a strong, bonding experience and I’m giving up complete control of my body for Him to use and abuse and He’s vulnerable in the sense that it could go too far and I wouldn’t come back the same or actually feel hurt by Him, instead of cleansed and cared for.
I straddled His lap as we kissed and touched. I felt His cock, nice and hard, brush against me. Teasing us both a little, I rubbed Master’s hard-on with my wet, horny pussy. The passion built and took over. He didn’t stop me and I couldn’t stop myself as I released His cock from his shorts and slipped Him inside me. I was really only going to take the tease that much further but He felt incredible as I started to ride His cock. Master teased and sucked on my nipples and soon after I was begging Him to let me cum. He gave me permission and oh my….I continued to fuck Him until He came deep inside me and we collapsed back on the bed. It turned into a different kind of session that night. His clothes didn’t come off until after we were done. There was a nice wet spot on His shorts that went into the laundry basket as we finally went to bed.