Each session brings us closer. I trust Him to the core of my being, giving Him my body and knowing when I’ve crossed over into the darkness.
I came home Tuesday…it was just us, no kids. We were both exhausted the night before and had gone to bed without making love, which left us both yearning for each other that day. Master was sleeping and I woke Him, not the way I wanted to but I know He was happy to see me anyway. I crawled in next to Him, kissing, teasing, touching. I even climbed on top for a few minutes…but it was too much. He took over and fucked me good. All before dinner.
Later, we went into the bedroom and I was being extra sassy and obstinent, but I got what I deserved. He tied me up and gave me half the punishment I had earned, 7 just for that night. I have 8 more coming next time. I have a love/hate relationship with Oakey. I love him because he sends me spiraling down but the pain that it causes me, the butterflies creep in when I feel the cold, hard wood grazing my skin before Master paddles me….Master fucked me in between, keeping me on that edge. Until finally Oakey hit hard enough and I fell off the edge while He fucked me one last time, thrusting inside me as I whimpered and struggled against the restraints. He liked that…and told me so. The pain and pleasure twisted around each other and coursed through my body with each push against my sore and aching ass. He came and then untied me, bringing me to Him. I curled up against Him and it all came flooding out. Master held me, loved me, kissed me until I dug myself out of the darkness.
Oakey ended up being painted with a little more color….along with my bleeding and bruised ass.
The darkness fascinates me. Do we all have it inside ourselves? Do some reject it and others revel in it? Or just those of us who are drawn to this world? What makes us need to be beaten? Where does the love to beat someone come from? Both sides of me live with that darkness….and welcome it. I’m not scared of it, it makes me who I am. The little/subbie that is Baby Doll and the Princess who protects her. It draws Master to me, His burning need to mark me, to hurt me, to make me cry and then protect me, love me and bring me back to Him. It’s the ultimate control and I give him my ultimate submission.