I want to hate them. I want to hate her. I want to hang on to the bitter taste that is still in my mouth after learning, that despite a warning shot across their bow in the form of a miscarriage a couple months ago, our exes were so irresponsible as to get pregnant…before we are divorced, much less remarried.
I want to hate her for using the feelings I divulged to her as a friend, in a moment of need, as weapons against Baby Doll and I in a subsequent fight. I want to hate her for manipulating a sucker into getting her pregnant, because I said no to another baby until we were settled and in a stable situation.
But whom does all this hate and anger hurt? Certainly not her. Most times the people we direct our grudges at not longer care that they hurt us, and in fact many probably revel in the fact that you are still angry while they have moved on. They probably don’t even think about you anymore.
So, whom does it hurt? It hurts me, Baby Doll, and the kids. My anger sometimes explodes on those around me who DO love me… but more often than not it forces me to withdraw from the world, to be physically present, but completely checked out. On the worst days, I must remove myself physically from anyone’s presence, for fear that I will lash out at those closest to me.
What to do…
Keep Calm and Beat Your Submissive
That’s right kids! Beat the shit out of her! Remember, she likes it! This is how she knows you love her. Submissives want to please their Masters. They want to be used for your pleasure. They want to bring you peace and tranquility. I know Baby Doll willingly sacrifices her body to me to bring me out of my holes. In our world, this is love.
I am a sadist. She is a masochist. I make no apologies.
These are the rules we live by.
For me there is no greater feeling than being given her body to torture, to fuck, to pleasure, to give pain, to confuse, to make bleed…and then have her turn around and find succor and solace in my arms, through my hands…the very hands that just moments before wracked her body with pain so that she drowned in subspace. Then as my Baby Doll emerges from the depths, she looks me in the eyes, kisses my hands, thanks me for her beating, and begs me to make love to her.