Momentary Weakness

I faltered yesterday. Red was insistent on speaking to me on the phone and at first, I resisted and told him no. He told me to “grow up”. Then started firing off texts…”If you can’t cooperate about the children, and speak with me. Then I will fight you for them” & “You either speak to me on the phone ABOUT OUR CHILDREN or we can do the courts” & “Now!!. It’s about your child and I do not have the time for your games”.
Against protocol, I answered the phone the next time he called.  He scared me.  He even called my mother telling her to have me call him. He was quite “aggitated” with me, she said. What did he want?  He wanted to know when he could get our oldest’s birth certificate to register her for school.  It was ridiculous.
I confessed immediately to Master that I had broken the phone rule. Needless to say He was not happy with me and told me now I will have to start all over again setting the boundaries because I had let Red win that round. Master was hurt, thinking that I would not give up our protocols in favor of Red but I had broken down. He used exactly the button that he knew he could push to make me respond.  And even called my mother to help him. I felt so ashamed. Master strongly lectured me over the phone and all I could muster was Yes Sir. Finally he helped me compose a text to Red, re-setting the boundaries I need to uphold to resist letting him in or have any control over me.  No matter how many times he threatens court or to take my girls, I must resist him. I sent him this: “I do not appreciate being threatened any more, nor will I tolerate it.  You asked me a long time ago not to take the kids away from you, and I agreed.  You threatening to take the girls from me every time you get upset is wrong.  I don’t want to hear it anymore. If you choose to continue to use court as a weapon, I will put it on the group text. We can communicate thru TEXT or EMAIL only.  I choose not to talk to you on the phone.  If you had enough time to sit there and fire off all those texts, the issue with the birth certificates could have been discussed and resolved in the same amount of time. These are the boundaries I’m setting which I believe to be necessary. I’m NOT cutting off communication, simply modifying it.”
I never got a response….but now I must follow thru with my word. He’s hardly said anything to me since yesterday. Maybe because he doesn’t think I’m strong enough to enforce this.  Or maybe because he walked away fat and happy as Master says, having fed off me and gotten what he wanted. Either way, I’m taking back control of my life. And I have a good man standing behind me, with His protective arms around me all the time.

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3 thoughts on “Momentary Weakness

  1. Confession is good for the soul! We will alert it through this. Your text was an excellent start. Now the hard work of following through begins! We will do it together.

    Liked by 1 person

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