His Slave

It’s coming….the need for a session is rising. Master and I are both feeling it. He’s feeling much better, His back is on the mends finally.

I know when He needs to beat me when He’s even more aggressive, when I’m getting more smacks on my ass than normal, when He wraps His hands around my throat during foreplay.

The need to beat me black & blue and the need to play is overwhelming, for both of us. We will satisfy both those needs, it’s just a matter of finding the time.

I feel the slave in me coming out more lately…quieter, looking to please Master at any expense. Enjoying pleasing Him at any expense. It will come in handy…

Holidays

I can’t say enough how happy I am to be looking forward to spending the holidays with you, Master! I am looking forward to bringing you to my family’s for Thanksgiving. I know we sort of spent holidays together last year, as a poly family but this is completely different and I am more than glowing with excitement that I get you, my new husband and wonderful Master, as mine. I don’t have to share you and we can proudly walk in, hand in hand, as husband and wife.  I’m proud to belong to you in every sense of the word, and my heart feels light and giddy knowing that we have our forever together.

I love you!  I know I tell you this quite frequently but not a minute goes by that my love and adoration for you doesn’t grow just a bit more.

Perfect

By the end I was shaking and begging Papa…I couldn’t take anymore..

It had been a couple of days. Master’s back was a little out of whack and He wasn’t feeling well. He prepared me Monday night, no num-num. Then Tuesday He still wasn’t feeling up to it. Perfectly understandable. By Wednesday, between flirting and sending sexy pics back and forth, I was ready to climb the walls. Or at least climb on top of Master. We were talking about fantasies, playing, getting each other all riled up. The kids were with us so it had to wait until they were asleep…

We went into the bedroom and got ready for each other. Once in bed, kissing, fondling, He sucked on my nipples, pinched and bit them, fingered me until I was about ready to explode then ordered me to put His cock in my mouth.  I love sucking cock. There is something about having that hard, smooth member sliding in and out of my mouth that gets me totally worked up. Master’s cock in my mouth then sucking on His balls, running my tongue over all the places that He loves, that drives Him completely wild. And the more He responded, the more I got into it until I felt like just rubbing myself against the bed could have gotten me off. I came back up and Papa told me to get the double-ended dildo out and wash it real quick. He had a surprise for me. I did as I was told and as I came out of the bathroom, He instructed me to sit on the edge of the bed. He got down between my legs and pushed one end of the double inside me. Then took the other end in His mouth.

Master fucked me with the double dildo in His mouth and fucked me good.  What a sight that was to see, I enjoyed it very much. Then He put His mouth on my pussy, licked and sucked me to orgasm. To say I came hard is an understatement. I’m surprised I didn’t wake up the kids or had cops knocking on our door, I was so loud. I couldn’t help it. I kept feeling the waves of that orgasm wash over me and my body shuddered over and over. I could barely open my eyes. Orgasmic sub space…it was amazing.

Then Master fucked me. I don’t know how many times I came after that but they kept coming until I was begging Him, I couldn’t take anymore. I was completely spent.

Papa let me cuddle Him, He loved on me and pet me while I came back down to reality and was once again functional. Master needed His much deserved release. I asked Him how He wanted to cum. In my mouth. Done. I lubed up the double and started slowly fucking Him with it, short and then long gentle strokes. Then faster and faster until I knew He was feeling really good. I took Him in my mouth while still continuing to fuck Him until He unloaded down my throat. He held my head still while He came, taking each squirt down my throat then released His cock from my mouth.

It was a delicious night…

 

Petty

Jealousy is such a stupid, petty emotion. And it makes me feel stupid and petty when I feel the green eyed monster peaking his stupid, petty little head up.  I have a very hard time admitting when I get jealous. Master has told me time after time if I just let it out, I’ll release myself from the power of the emotion and I keep saying that giving it a voice gives it its power.

For whatever reason, Master talking to His ex last night rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe because I wanted the attention (not like I wasn’t getting any but I didn’t want Him giving HER any). Then when He came upstairs, He mentioned getting her a cookbook for her birthday. That really didn’t help. The harder I tried to get the monster out of my head, the tighter its grip took control. It was dumb and I knew it and loathed myself for it. But I didn’t say anything.

As always, He knew I wasn’t myself or something was on my mind. I kept denying it, He let it go while we watched some more Sons until we went to bed. Then He pushed me until I admitted it. I hated admitting it. But Master made a good point. Maybe it isn’t so much jealous of her but jealous that I will most likely never have that same type of easy interaction with my ex. There’s still anger and resentment and hurt between us, maybe all on my end, I don’t know. Red and I don’t talk about any of it anymore. I know that I am not completely healed, that will take some time. I’m not over the damage Red left in his wake but I’m better. I know I’m getting better because I don’t think of him often other than in the capacity as the father of my children (I use the term “father” loosely). And when I do, the hurt isn’t as deep and the anger isn’t as red hot as it used to be. Time heals wounds and I’m working on it. Maybe Master is right, maybe I wish I had that type of relationship with my ex but I know that I cannot let him in anymore. If he’s being nice or even reasonable, it’s because he wants something, not because he’s genuinely being nice to me. Red has hurt me and used me too many times for me to do it anymore. I’m happier and healthier the further I pull away from him.

They’re getting married on Friday. I’m good with that, I think he needs to man up and marry her. Master said the only way Red gets women to marry him is by getting them pregnant. Ouch. But it’s true. I was pregnant then and she is now. I have a feeling he doesn’t want to marry her, he’s being pushed into it by her and her mother. But if he doesn’t have the balls to stand up and say something, he deserves it. He deserves to lay in the bed he’s made. The only one I feel sorry for is the little girl they’re hiding like a big dark secret. That isn’t fair to that little baby, she’s an innocent in all this and they should be proud of their little one, despite the situation, despite what the world may think. But that’s their issue…

And no, my baby fever has not gone away or even calmed down. Not in the slightest! Papa keeps telling me next year. I know. I know the plan. But my uterus is twitching and crying!  So combine hormones with baby fever and you get Baby Doll.  A little crazy, a little emotional.