Browsing, talking to and playing with couples has brought up interesting observations and questions for me.
The first time playing with someone, it’s exciting and fun but there is that element of the unknown, not knowing the other person’s body, their turn-ons and such. So how good is someone in bed, really? Many claim that they their spouses have talent in the bedroom but what they don’t realize is just how much of that talent is based on how well their spouses know their bodies or really are that good.
I am not saying by any stretch that there are not naturally good lovers out there. Or lovers who are self-taught because they are observant or have chosen to learn about what best pleases men and women. Not at all. There are plenty of good lovers. But when a wife says her husband can eat pussy like no one’s business, well, sweetie…how well does he know your pussy by now? Probably pretty fucking well so he knows exactly how she likes it done and can make her feel amazing in no time. Being with a completely new person, that is no easy feat, even being the best lover you can be.
It takes a little bit of time to learn a person’s body, to find just that one spot that will make him or her squirm and grip the sheets and beg for more. Occasionally, you will come across someone who is able to do that the very first time, but most likely not.
Playing is fun, it’s a thrill but I don’t usually find the thrill in the sex. It’s more about the idea, the hunt and the flirting. When it comes to actual sex, it’s no where near as satisfying as sex with Master. And afterwards, all I can usually think about is being with Him again. Feeling His touch, His kisses, His cock, His thrusting hips, His hands, His everything. The best sex is uninhibited and passionate. Not usually the sex one has in this lifestyle. At least I don’t.
So why play? I’ve struggled with this question of late. How much am I going along for Master and how much do I really want it? Am I getting out of it what I want or tagging along for the ride?
Playing introduces the opportunity for us to meet new people, make the most of our time when we are without kids (aside from our date nights), bond and gather new experiences. Most of all, it allows us to learn things about ourselves and each other we might not in any other way.
Master has little twingy moments, He says, but they pass quickly and it’s mostly about if He thinks someone else might be pleasing me better than He can. I can assure Him that is most certainly never the case. I’ve never been happier with my sex life than I am now with Him. I think I may have narrowed down where my jealousy is stemming from. Many thanks to Master asking some of the harder questions and making me open up about it. It’s the most difficult thing for me to admit I am jealous. I’ve never been jealous over sex before and I’ve actually gone back to doing a little bit of internet research to figure out the origin and then a plan on eradicating this feeling, if possible. It takes bravery to be so honest with yourself and willing to face the demon. Replaying events of those nights in my mind, paying close attention to my emotions and reactions as I recount my experiences has helped a lot. It’s also a matter of seeing if the feelings fade a little more each time. I appreciate all the reassurances Master gives me of His love and commitment to me, and to us. That helps a lot.
At the end of the day, I’m not just going along with Master and what He wants. I want to play too. I don’t always get what I want out of it, none of us do, but that’s part of this game. And that’s ok. There’s always new experiences and new people out there waiting to be had.