Disappointed

It’s no secret the struggle Papa and I are going through right now with the kids,  custody and moving. We are doing what we can to stay positive, embracing the future, hoping for the very best outcome.
Master and I are too aware of the fact that we have put ourselves in this mess, firmly planted, eyes wide open but still remain optimistic because we both believe that our exes really do have the best intentions for all our kids in mind, despite the trials, anger and hurt feelings we have been and put each other through.
That being said, it’s very hard to sit across from your best friend in all the world and listen to him as he pretty much says, “yea….you’re fucked” with judgement in his eyes, conveying the quiet opinion that I deserve what I’m going to get. Telling me there is no way they will move with us because it isn’t about the kids, the move is about US. Master and me. I need positivity, hugs and gentleness, not a harsh opinion of how badly I have fucked up my life. Is that really too much to ask? Apparently so. I was not necessarily surprised by Jets but I was disappointed. In a time in my life when I need the most love and support, he could offer no more than a dismissive shake of his head. However through all this, I have learned not to expect more out of people than they are either willing or able to give me.  If that’s all he can offer,  then that’s all.  I, however, do not have to accept his negativity or hard opinions.  I choose to keep my head up high, optimistic and full of faith that they can see past the adult bullshit and keep our insane family together, for the sake of five innocent lives that are depending on us to keep our shit together and move together. 

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