Subtle Submission

Papa mentioned the other day that our D/s relationship has become more subtle lately and I said maybe it’s because I’ve fallen into my submissive place. I know where I belong and who I belong to and He doesn’t have to correct me or monitor me so closely because my protocols are becoming more second nature to me now. He agreed that this is probably so.

I know where Papa is coming from. I follow my assignments and protocols as best as I can, I’m not perfect, but I feel like I’m doing a fairly decent job. Our house, family and marriage seem to be running smoothly. Which also means less needs to be said and we both somewhat take it for granted. It’s easy to do that when it’s working and only really notice if it’s not. I feel it, I asked Papa if we could do a session soon. Even if it’s just an over-the-knee spanking. He agreed. It’s hard finding the balance of when you want more and knowing your Master cannot give it to you at the moment because of circumstances or life’s demands. I fully understand it takes a lot for Him to be my Papa. I’m another responsibility, even if just emotionally. I need love and attention and sometimes guidance. I hope that by taking the menial responsibilities of the home I help Him focus better on being my Papa Dom rather than just Husband. Although He did mention that the laundry responsibilities will be changing a little bit because I don’t always keep up as well as He would like. He washes and dries, I fold and put away. Master is more mindful about keeping up with things like that than I am. There’s one part where I’m not perfect but Papa proposed to modify the responsibility in order to keep me more more in line and Him happy. One thing I love about Him, instead of getting upset or reprimanding me, He recognizes I’m trying but if He still doesn’t like the result, He will compromise and find another solution to make it work. I appreciate that about Him more than He probably knows.

I told Him I had been thinking about another protocol I thought I would like to try. I asked if He would consider dressing me any number of days He could handle, work or weekend days. I fully expected Him to say what He did, which was I have to organize my closet first. There was no way He would do it with the state it’s in now. It’s not messy (well, at least by MY standards) but everything is all mixed together. He wants separated by types of clothes and then seasons. ::sigh:: I’ll have to start working on that.

We talked about the remainder of the year and how it will affect us. We have some interesting things ahead of us. The move, settling in in a whole new state, not just a house, whether our counterparts will be moving at the same time and/or how long before they move or settle in to their own place. Depending on our living situation, I might or might not be looking for work again or having all 5 on my own while Papa works. If I end up being the SAHM, I’ll be taking on shuttling 5 kids back and forth to school along with all the responsibilities at home. Whether we will or can re-establish protocols during all the chaos will remain to be seen. I’d like to try and certainly would put my best effort in.

How this lifestyle ebbs and flows is very much like sex. It starts out hot and heavy and you cannot get enough of each other. When you start to realize the other one isn’t going anywhere, you fall into a more regular pattern. Then as life and responsibility pushes its way in, sometimes it takes a back seat. Then you wake up one day and realize you haven’t been beaten in so long that your soul is aching for the release. You know the Monster will want out soon enough. Sometimes you just have to wait for the Master to get over His own humps as well.

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