Knowing, living with and finally being married to a narcissist has made me weary of everyone and made me not trust myself. I fear that my sensitivity, empathy and lack of self-confidence has drawn any narc in close range to me. The damage that a narcissist leaves behind is near impossible to clean up and heal from. Even after ridding myself of Red, I now question many of my relationships. Anyone who shows even the slightest bit of selfishness makes me shy away from them. What’s ironic is for years, anyone my mother would get involved with that I didn’t like or trust, I would tell her. I would be open and honest in letting her know how I felt about them and my fears that they wouldn’t be good for/to her. In most cases, I was right. But I lack this same ability for myself. At the same time, how dangerous is it to be just friends with a narc? If they make you laugh and you have a good time with them, what’s the harm? Do they draw on a little bit of my energy and attention? Sure. In the long run, if narc friends aren’t using or abusing you for anything more than attention, is that really so bad?