We have been in our house and in Florida for a few weeks now. My uncles came to help unload the truck once we arrived, which was done within two hours. Within a few days, most of the boxes were unpacked and in the garage. Papa and I do not like living out of boxes and in complete chaos. I couldn’t stand it. A week later and most of the pictures were on the walls, things are organized and put away, a regular schedule is falling into place. In the midst of the unpacking, we have also gotten our IDs, started the registration process for the car, got a new van for the kids, went to the health department to get their shot records transferred to this state, and registered all five for school. Since we had an empty refrigerator and pantry, also had to do major shopping. To say we’ve been busy is an understatement but we have managed to get it done. My mom has been a big help. She has stayed with the kids while we have gone to do most of this stuff, cleaned and did laundry and dishes. We couldn’t have gotten most of this stuff done as easily without her seeing as we have had all five.
The drive across the country wasn’t bad at all. There were times where I wanted to push my mom out of the car and leave her there but I didn’t. We all survived without getting into any major arguments or killing each other. Of course, part of that was Papa drove the moving truck while Mom stayed in the car with either me driving or she drove. The rest of us took turns riding with Him in the truck. The girls behaved surprisingly well for being stuck in the car for 10+ hours a day. It was a challenge to get them to bed at night because they would be so full of energy by the end of the day but they eventually settled down and went to sleep. All of them slept in the car during the day as well.
I was beyond fascinated by the countrysides we drove through. One would think I was a small town girl who had never ventured out or seen a big city. I grew up in Vegas and had only really traveled to California, Florida, New York (for one brief night), Washington state, Oregon, Idaho and Massachusetts. And most of those I had gone only once or twice. I loved watching the world outside transform from the desert I knew. The trees got greener and the air felt different. It was fun seeing the different farm animals as we drove through Texas. Louisiana and Alabama was gorgeous! I love the south!
It was hard dropping my mom off at the airport. I’ve never lived away from my parents. Now they’re thousand of miles away. My mom is a hard woman emotionally so she rushed off instead of a teary goodbye and I knew why so I wasn’t hurt by it. I miss her and my dad a lot. I’ve never had a lot of friends but now I’ve moved away from the few that I did have. One of my closer ones moved to Texas a month before we left so that made it slightly easier but it’s still hard. The night Mom was gone, I clung to Papa needing snuggles. For right now at least, I have the kids and Him. Not working outside of the home won’t help that much either. For better or for worse, Papa’s friends will be my friends.
Stripe and Red made it down here. My dad helped them at the end because they had no one else. The old poly house was left an absolute disaster and they had to leave a lot of things behind because apparently Strip’s priority was hand-me-down clothes over furniture or car seats. Whatever their choices are, they have to deal with the consequences. The one car is still in the shop in Nevada, they’ve been driving a rental down here. What has absolutely shocked Papa and me is that in 10 or so days they’ve been here, Stripe and Red have seen the kids twice even though they both have been crying about how much they miss the kids. Letting them borrow cars last year before their spawn was born taught us not to do that again so when Red asked to borrow our new van because they don’t have a vehicle to take all 6 kids, I gracefully denied them while offering that we can drop the babes of with them instead. Thankfully there wasn’t any push back about it and they took us up on it. But still have only seen the kids twice. Stripe refuses to deal with anyone right now, claiming that she misses the kids so much she isn’t capable of dealing so I have been having to make arrangements through Red. I am not enjoying this at all and Papa feels left out of the whole ordeal because Stripe has barely even been answering Him. Her mother even showed up claiming she’s here to help Stripe because she isn’t adjusting well to the situation. They’re living out of a motel at the moment because they had to come down here first to try to get into a place. Red doesn’t have the credit to rent from long distance and apparently they need approval from the HOA as well. It’s a whole fucked up situation. Papa thinks Strip’s mother is down here to co-sign which seems more plausible. I just don’t understand them, they say they miss the kids so so much but their actions don’t match it. Red started work just today, they’ve been sitting and waiting for approval with nothing else to do. It doesn’t add up. Papa said her problem is most likely because we won’t give up our car for them and if she doesn’t get exactly her way, she won’t have any of it. Well…that’s exactly what it is. Her problem.
I’ve been home with the kids while Papa works and it’s a strange feeling. The only other time I’ve stayed at home was maternity leave and I was anxious to get back to work then. I’m feeling a little out of sorts because I’ve never not worked and never relied on someone else to take care of me like this. I’m trying to fit into it comfortably but it’s a struggle. Papa mentioned looking for work last night once the kids head off to school next week just to confirm and all those uncomfortable feelings came rushing to the surface. I don’t want Him to feel like I’m taking advantage or I’m lazy. I’m planning on finding something I can do from home. I have one thing lined up already that I will start working on right away. It’s commission only so that makes it a little harder but I’ll work on making that pan out. I want to find something else with a little more consistent pay as well and then I feel better. I know that taking care of the house, kids and Papa is a big contribution but I will feel better when I know I’m contributing financially also. Not to mention that the kids want to start activities and we can’t take that cost on without me working. I don’t count on the other parents helping with any of that. Papa and I have paid for the school clothes, shoes and supplies and neither of them had even said thank you let alone offered to help out.
This is the start of me getting back to writing once a week. I’ve been working on this blog for two weeks and am missing it.
Hope all has been well in the blogging world!