Anxiety

I have no doubt that I probably have an anxiety disorder.  Whenever I get anxious, nervous or sometimes even just uncomfortable, I start picking at my thumbs.  Specifically the skin around them. I’ll start picking until they bleed…and it calms me. I’m such a masochist. Papa noticed this a long time ago and has been working with me to keep it to a minimum. I’ve gotten much better. When I was married to Red, my thumbs, and sometimes other fingers, would be torn up and made to bleed. I even would pick at the skin on my lips. I had to force myself to stop that one because people will notice that (and it looked horrible) but they don’t usually take notice of your fingers. I don’t even notice I’m picking but Papa will feel it and make me stop. Married to Papa, I have gotten much better because I’m calmer and happier. I still pick. Things come up that make me anxious or nervous and it happens but that is a lot more manageable than hurting myself on a daily basis because my anxiety levels were so high. Perhaps one day I (or Papa) will look at my thumbs and neither of us will rememeber the last time I picked and that will be the end. 

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4 thoughts on “Anxiety

    1. I stopped the nail biting because I would make my fingers bleed….but I still pick and chew the skin around them. It’s a lot more common than most realize, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

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