Before we even moved here, we had a friend that was already living here. She’s the same age as Papa, single and a blast to hang out with. Her blog name will be Kat. Kat knows about our past, how we met and knows all about our current activities. She isn’t a judgmental person and even dabbles a bit in the swinging lifestyle herself, as a single unicorn, although all of that is a little newer to her than it is to us. Kat has not had the best of luck in her romantic life, in fact she’s even very disappointed in how dating has turned out for her in the last couple of years. Since all our lives have settled more in the last couple of weeks, we were finally able to get her to come over and hang out with us. Since she’s about 30+ minutes from us and we knew the alcohol would flow freely, Papa told her she was welcome to spend the night at our house, in fact even better if she just came prepared to stay the night. Kat showed up Saturday with an overnight bag.
We started drinking almost as soon as she came in, about 3pm. 11 hours later, we finally drug ourselves to bed. In those 11 hours, all we did was talk, eat and drink. No tv, no phones, just us. Talking and laughing about all our experiences, getting to know each other even more. It was a great night. We’ve been discussing her dating and romantic life at length and we’ve been trying to help her figure out what to do from here. She’s bisexual so dating a woman is not out of the question, in fact her Match.com account was set to looking for women. I have suggested a few times that she might want to think about seeking out a poly couple but have warned that it comes with risk as a unicorn is unfortunately “expendable” in that situation. Although we’ve also talked about her just dating one or the other and not both. Kat has been listening and taking it all into consideration, still unsure just what exactly she wants to do. Other than thinking she just wants to take a break altogether and let things settle down a little more before pursuing dating so much. At one point, late into the night, as the poly discussion was happening, Papa said that some day we might even have a girlfriend, especially if it comes to a time when He cannot keep me as pleased as He does now. He wants to see me happy and taken care of. At that point, Kat enthusiastically raised her hand while laughing. Throughout the night, she had also mentioned several times how she hasn’t had sex or any good sex for that matter in a long time.
Once we were all settled in bed, Papa started talking to me about Kat and made a proposition….something I didn’t expect to hear from Him for a long time, if ever. He asked what I thought about Kat being our girlfriend. Our poly girlfriend. Certainly surprised to hear this, I didn’t say yes or no. We talked about how we could/would do this, the risks, the positives and negatives. Papa thinks if we can offer her the love and sex she needs right now, it will open up her more to finding someone she wants to become her primary partner. I said this means what when that time comes, we have to be willing, able to and happy to let her go. It’s all tricky, very tricky stuff. We have to walk into this eyes wide open knowing that if we get attached, we have to be able to let her go when the time comes and her knowing that we can’t fully offer her what a monogamous relationship can.
It just doesn’t seem as if monogamy is for us….one way or another.
After a lot of talking, Papa has decided to let me broach the subject with Kat….tonight.