This post is dedicated to a spunky spitfire in Kansas, who knows how to give me a swift kick in the ass when I haven’t been writing enough to keep her updated.
Since November?? Really?? Has it been that long since I’ve written anything good? My god…I’m sorry! The last few months have been a bit of a blur and I have missed writing so here goes…let’s get you caught up, Miss Kansas…
My parents are here. They moved a week before Thanksgiving (which kind of explains the lack of blogging since November) and are living with us. I get along with them just fine, especially my mother. Neither of them are working, which means they’re around alot but they also keep themselves busy running around so most nights Papa and I have alone, which I’m thankful for. Weeks that we have the kids, there are nine of us in the house. That’s right, NINE. It’s crowded and noisy, sometimes overwhelming but generally ok. Thank goodness that Papa gets along with my parents pretty well, too. My mom has been a great help, doing laundry and helping to keep the house up. My dad piddles around, fixing little things here and there. The biggest topic of contention is his work.
A few years ago, he got let go from a job where he had been at for 27 years. That’s a long time. We think it broke him, spiritually and mentally. But he won’t talk about it. My father is Latin and talking about their feelings isn’t macho. He was out of work for 11 months. Refused to look for work, refused to apply. He kept saying he’s been working since he was 14 and needed a break. I think it nearly destroyed my parents’ marriage. My mom was beyond stressed and depressed. Finally, her and I sat down and started putting in applications for him. He landed a job because of this. The tension was dramatically eased. Fast-forward to 2016, our family moves to Florida and shortly after my mom goes back home, dad loses this second job. Now they’re here. He has begun saying he will go back to work, but giving no time-line or putting in any applications. She’s back to begging me to put in applications for him, again, at her wits ends. Mom doesn’t know what to do with him. He doesn’t seem interested in working anymore but he’s too young to retire at 61. She has flown the coupe, finding an excuse that her cousin in Arizona needs her help. She figures this might kick him in the butt, giving him the ultimatum that she won’t come back home until he finds a place for them to live and a job. Mom cannot fathom living in her grandson’s bedroom for much longer. Since she’s left, he has been gone at my uncle’s helping them with repairs on their new house. I don’t know…her plan may have backfired. Only time will tell.
We have talked, the 3 of us. Mom knows that a time is coming when we have to have that talk. Dad isn’t making any effort to apply for jobs. He talks this big talk about meeting people and having dinner with them. But we’re in 2017 now, that isn’t how you get jobs. This isn’t Vegas 1989 where you walk into a casino, audition and the pit boss hires you right there. The’s applications, interviews, background checks…it’s a process. One would think my father would understand that a little more since having gone through it recently. Is he really that stuck in the past and refuses to see how things work now? Or is he afraid that he won’t get the work like he keeps thinking/saying he will? He’s a little bit like Red, communicating with him is nearly pointless. He doesn’t open up much, he doesn’t answer many questions and when you push him far enough, his temper blows and he will start in about everyone should leave him alone and stop stressing him out. Papa’s issue with it is my dad will sit on the patio, smoke a cigar and play games like he doesn’t have a care in the world. It’s like having a teenager in the house, just graduated high school with no plans on either working or going to further his education. There comes a time when it isn’t acceptable anymore. You must find a way to move forward in your life.