Hopefully expressing my frustrations here will help get some of this out of my head…
(To sort any confusion, we’ll call my oldest Blondie and Papa’s oldest Brownie)
Lady Tremaine rears her ugly head again.
The last couple of months I have been seeing little signs of favoritism. My oldest doesn’t always get the care she needs by Stripe. They’re not big things, her basic needs are taken care of. Food, shelter, clothes, etc. But when it comes to school, Stripe seems to be on top of Brownie’s things but Blondie’s….not so much. A month or so ago, Blondie was recognized as being an excellent student and her teacher talked to me about going into the gifted program. Paperwork had to be done yada yada yada. One of the slips didn’t get signed. It was their week. Blondie’s teacher sent me a message that she was sending the stuff home with her to be signed. I posted on the group thread to inform them, please be on the look-out for it, silence. I figured he was at work but Stripe was quiet. I messaged the teacher back and asked if her father could pick up the papers or go to the school to sign them. She told me then that the papers had been given directly to Blondie’s step-mom the day before. I was a little more than irritated and texted Red. Stripe didn’t say anything, to either of us. Or so he said. He acted annoyed too and said he was going to get to the bottom of this. Another example: at the beginning of the school year, we bought uniforms for the girls. Same amount for both. A couple of months back, Stripe starts complaining that Blondie doesn’t have uniforms. I counted and checked ours. Same for both Blondie and Brownie. She basically accused us of hoarding Blondie’s uniforms. I asked, if I were hoarding just one of the girls’ clothes, why would I have the same amount for both? Silence. Again. Stripe doesn’t go through Blondie’s folder but signs Brownie’s behavior chart every day. It’s just little things, but important things or things that will become important. Now this…
There’s a school app that the teachers can send out messages to the parents, both private and as a group. It helps the teachers so that they can send reminders and stay connected to the parents, and it helps us stay in contact with them. I think it’s awesome. The week before last, Brownie’s teacher sent one of these out that the kindergarten class needed their class shirts for pictures the next week. I asked on the group thread if Brownie’s shirt was still in her backpack and that she needed it for our week if not. Stripe’s response? “We both have the Reminder app, we got the message, thanks”. So that tells me, they have it handled, right? They’re adults, they have access to the same message boards, I dont need to send follow up reminders, in my mind. They get the same messages and know what’s going on with the girls. Wrong. Stripe has Brownie’s teacher on her Reminder but not Blondie’s. Or so Red said, throwing Stripe under the bus on that one. When I saw Stripe yesterday, she asked about Blondie’s field trip this week, claiming she knew nothing about it. I said it was on the reminder from her teacher. Her tone was accusing and rude, she was dismissive and glared at me. I texted Red, told him if he’s home when I drop off kids to their house, he needs to deal with me because I don’t deserve to be treated like that. I pretty much went at him about how she shows favoritism and Blondie falls through the cracks, that I’m concerned about this fall when the rest of our kids enter kindergarten. I told him all I expect is the kids are treated fairly, and that’s obviously not happening. His answer? I should be sharing all this and he will encourage her to do the same. Wait a second, she tells me they have access and now he’s telling me they don’t? WTF? Oh wait…again…she has access to Brownie’s but NOT Blondie’s. My answer….this morning a message came through from Blondie’s teacher, I put on the group text that there was a message. That’s it. I’ve done my part. I refuse to spoon-feed them.
I will say, for as much as I bitched at him about Stripe and the kids, we didn’t fight. Went back and forth a little, but no fighting. I asked him to address these issues with her because if I do, there will be a giant fight. I felt a little better afterwards. There’s definitely some lingering anger but fading. My inner demons are quieting down…..to a dull roar at least.