Part II: Ballsy Blue

As I mentioned, Jackie and Blue felt drawn to each other and they felt they owed it to themselves to try and figure it out. Of course, this crushed Betty, when in reality, she’s just jealous that Blue seems to like Jackie more then he liked her when she’s the one who’s totally sprung on him. Blue and Jackie have since started talking and getting to know each other more intimately.

I’m skeptical of Blue, very skeptical. My gut instinct is telling me he’s a player, he stalks out single women to play with on the side (remember he has a live-in girlfriend). He’s been in the swinging scene for 20+ years, most of that with his ex-wife. Now they’re divorced. He met his current girlfriend through the swing lifestyle as well but she has since decided she doesn’t want to swing anymore. How in the world she thinks she can take a seasoned swinger such as himself and force him into a monogamous relationship basically is beyond me. If he willingly gave it up, that’s one thing, but forcing him to be mono, not going to happen. And then be crushed to discover he’s playing around on the side? However, these are no excuses for him. He decided to move in with her, he’s stayed with her so he’s being just plain dishonest.

Betty turned their 5-week affair into a 3-month relationship where she claims she was his girl and he says she wasn’t. In that 5-week span, they went to a popular swing club that Blue has a membership to a number of times and played there, of course. Before the night that involved Jackie, there was another incident that she flipped out about. Apparently they were messing around at the club and another couple came into the room and started messing around as well. However he got the signal or permission, Blue went over to the other lady and started going down on her. Betty claims he totally got up and abandoned her, Blue claims he tried to take her with him but she refused and hung back so he went ahead because, again,  no word from her. No indication that she wasn’t comfortable with it. Betty ended up gathering her things together and storming out after slamming doors and throwing his stuff around, so the story goes. She’s too jealous, possessive, and insecure to be swinging with someone she has developed feelings for.

I don’t know what he does to these women. Both Betty and Jackie have said the same thing. There’s just something about him. He’s so calm and easy to be around blah blah blah. When he’s with them, he’s funny, charming and showers them with attention. When they’re not together, he’s almost silent, uncommunicative and short. His texts are barely worth reading. I know this because both Betty and Jackie have shown me conversations with him. I’ve also told them both that if that were me, I’d be long gone. I need way more attention and communication that he gives. I cannot stand the crazy short answers and lack of affection. Something else about all this….the  man has two phones. This is how far he’s gone to conceal his affairs. Betty used to call his second phone, the Batphone, because when he’s home or with his girlfriend, the Batphone is off and hidden away. We know this because on Kik, if the receiver’s phone is off, when messages are sent, they will simply say “s” for sent. But if the phone is on, it will say “d” for delivered and of course “r” for read. The only sort of communication he keeps up when the Batphone is off is email that he keeps on his regular phone.

Papa and I finally met him, with Jackie (more to come surrounding all that in Part III). Blue is charming, he has great eyes and a nice smile but I still don’t see how these women have fallen so hard for him. Again, my instinct is telling me different. He tells Jackie he loves her, wants to be with her, showers her with all this love and affection in person but as soon as they’re apart, it goes back to the short answers and nearly non-existent communication. It’s starting to wear on Jackie a little bit. She needs affection, attention and communication and he’s just not providing it. Even after she told him in person she needed more from him and he promised and said he would make the effort. Now since we have met him, he’s been texting Papa and me on the side. Jackie is aware of all this. There are times when he will be texting me and not Jackie. That bothers me. If he’s so infatuated with her, shouldn’t he be making more of an effort to chat with her, let her know he’s thinking about her and not chatting it up with me? She’s asked and I’ve been honest, telling her what time he’s sent me messages, when the last message I’ve gotten was, etc etc. I know it upsets her, I can feel it. It would upset me too. She’s asked me if I think she’s being too over-emotional and I honestly answered, NO. In fact, Jackie is being calmer than I would be. The conversations between Blue and I have been mostly about Betty, he’s apologized a number of times for her actions and I keep telling him, he has nothing to apologize for. It was her actions, her insanity. Yes, it’s surrounding him but in the end, it’s her who went cuckoo. The other part that bothers me is the conversations between him and I have been longer and fuller than with Jackie. I get whole sentences and paragraphs, while she gets emojis and a few words at a time. He also mentioned last night that he went to buy Jackie and me a toy at the sex store he frequents. He did the exact thing with Betty, which is also a red flag for me because the pattern is surfacing. Being in the lifestyle for so long, we think he’s trying to set up for a foursome, which neither of us are even remotely interested in. Is he looking at Jackie as a long-term commitment or just another playmate to stay in the life?

We have both been honest with Jackie, trying to help her along in her struggle with Blue. He’s promised her that he will be moving out of his girlfriend’s house at the end of summer. No other specific date, just the end of summer. Do I believe that? Mostly no. I think he tells a lot of stories. He is charming and very talkative in person with a lot of great stories between his adventure-filled work he has now retired from and all the years swinging (again, another red flag because he is not the same in text as he is in person). Upon meeting him, we all went to dinner together. At the diner, he ran into a guy who works with his girlfriend who was also out to dinner with a gentleman that used to work with his father. Blue was sweating buckets. He disappeared from our table for a short time while he chatted with that other group. When he came back, he was sweaty and obviously nervous. Except Jackie couldn’t quite nail down an answer from him who he was more nervous about, the dude that worked with his girlfriend or the guy who knew his dad. He blew off the question about whether his dad knew of the troubles between his girlfriend and him, though he did answer it the second time Jackie asked. It still didn’t feel truthful. When someone says, “oh yea yea yea he knows” and quickly follows it up with another sentence to distract, it’s yet another flag.

Both of us are becoming protective of Jackie. My feelings are telling me her and Blue are headed for a disaster and I honestly don’t know how to feel about that because we kind of want her for ourselves..

 

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